‘Since I started playing I have received a great deal of encouragement from members. However, I have reached the conclusion that all may not be as it seems Therefore, I have compiled a list of such comments revealing their possible interpretation’ (Trevor Deadman-Spall 2023)
| What They Say | What They Mean |
|---|---|
| Good length | Hopelessly off target |
| A bit more weight | Hopelessly short |
| Come the other way | You obviously can’t play that hand |
| A bit heavy | Nearly in the ditch |
| Good green | Nowhere near |
| Good try | Hopeless |
| Good place | Hopeless |
| We came up | Lucky |
| They came up | Idiot |
| Same again | Fat chance |
| Jack high | Pitifully wide |
| So close | Miles away |
| Unlucky | Hopeless |
| We were two up | Idiot |
| Shot wood | Never heard that; no idea what it means |
| No change | Why did you bother? |
| More green | Hopeless |
| Nice delivery | Otherwise hopeless |
| Nearly did it | Hopeless |
| Just two yards short | Nowhere near |
| Consistent | Same as previous pitiful attempt |
| Been playing long? | You’re playing like a beginner |
| Are they your own woods? | Maybe try another set |
| It’s only a game | Maybe try another game |
| Next time | Rubbish |
| Good blocker | Of no use whatsoever |
| The jack’s here | You’ve obviously forgotten or can’t see it |
| Never mind | Hopeless |
| Well bowled ! | Aspirational comment not in my experience |